I wish there was a class for empathy. I'd take it. You know what I will do all that I can do to be a better listener and show her. Man today is a bummer. The old V-day.
Benwa, you're in luck! There's a book out there called "I Don't Have To Make Everything All Better" by Gary and Joy Lundberg, here's a description "The authors call for "validation," a powerful technique for improving one-on-one communication that involves careful, empathetic listening to another person's feelings without judging, criticizing or attempting to solve his or her problems" It's not current but the library might have it or used book dealers on the net (try abebooks.com). You could become Mr. Empathy 2007, who knows
Thanks whatisis. Now to be Mr. Empathy and Mr. Detachment at the same time. It still blows me away how she wants to talk about those issues that married people talk about to me. All the money, job stress, friends, and of course the boys. But when it comes to romance and fun its off to her 37 year old BF. I found that out Tuesday. She's 26. I'm 28. Yep. I laughed. We talked about the sex we had and she said it was good but the same sex she's had for years. I was relieved. This just means it's all about her and I saw that. I needed to run almost four miles to see it bit I did last night. I am back on track with detachment and my little bout of pursuit is over. She will have to come to me now. I'll look for that book.
You asked for some advice in your last post to me, and being that I'm not really up on exactly where you are, I am only going to comment on one thing. You talk about empathy, about wanting to be better at it. You start by getting more in touch with your own emotions. Be more aware of what you're feeling. Tell people what you're feeling more often, this really helps with your awareness. Acknowledge their feelings when they speak of them, or when they express them non-verbally. Empathy, like love, is not something you use like a tool, used in an instant and then cast aside. It's a perspective you apply to your life, all of your relationships. If you don't empathize with yourself first, you will never do well with others. This is where you should focus. Get more in touch with your emotions and you will naturally recognize and respond to those of others. Look for opportunities in every interaction you have with yourself and with others to practice this.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
