He told me he is still scared that things will go back the way they were, that if he gives affection it will be like loosing control again and that I will use sex as a tool. He doesn't feel he can trust again to give himself and put himself on that vulnerable position again.
Hmm that is VERY interesting and good that it comes from the mouth of a WAS. I wonder if that is what is bothering my H. It seems very likely, thank you for the insight. This whole thing never ceases to amaze me how from an outsider's point of view they would think that us LBS's are the ones who need to build trust back up yet it seems to be the WAS's who need to even more than us.
I think he really is trying yes. He seems genuinely sorry that the whole sitch is upsetting me and is being very understanding - he says this is because I'm being understanding to him. So it seems we have both learnt a lot from this hiccup in our M as I now like to think of it and are both really trying to approach things differently. We have both slipped into old ways a couple of times when we have been really tired but appart from that we are both different with each other. I know that when the rest is sorted out we will be so happy.
