HD, I know he read my email, but that is all I know. He did not mention it nor did he say whether or not he'd gotten the papers. I am expecting anger when he gets the papers so I would be pretty surprised if he actually received them yesterday based on his temperament last night. He was definitely stand-offish, but I think that was a result of the email.
I did not send the letter because I wanted a response from him. I sent it because I wanted him to know how I feel. And based on past history, I would be silly to have expected any kind of response and/or acknowledgement anyway. My letter laid out how I feel and put the ball in his court if any reconciliation is to occur. He has consistently denied that the ball will ever be in his court, so I doubt that he will easily accept the idea that it is 'his move'.
Hey Blackfoot, I'm particularly glad to know you thought my letter was clear because your perspective is probably closest to H's.
I remember when x left me a vmail, to let me know that I was going to be served on my Bday, and that... 'blah blah blah.
Does that relate to my letter at all? I mean, are you saying that perhaps your ex was attempting the same thing, but you weren't buying it?
once she reacted to OM and started showing attraction, my expectation was that at some point she would become aware and make a choice. She did.
Did she ever tell you about OM at all, or clue you in that there were problems? When you say she made a choice, do you mean she made the choice by sleeping with him?
Post A....What I had was a goal and a plan.
Sort of winning her back? I mean, without changing who you are, was making yourself as attractive to her as possible your goal?
Post reconcil my expectations were basically-- --x you had no problem engaging in independant actions to destroy the M, (which I held together despite your negative pushes, verbal abuse and best efforts) lets see some independant action proving that you want this R. Regardless of how I act, good bad or indifferant, I expect your actions to show that you want this R.
Like I said, your perspective is most like my H's.
The good, masculine leading got good reactions, the indifferant was not appreciated but not an immediate deal breaker, the bad... ..she left.
Oddly enough, I stayed through the bad. It was the indifferent that got me. Because people get over being mad, they get over hurts and transgressions. But when someone becomes so comfortable in a state of indifference, that's where I lose hope, kwim?
Im still trying to figure out why I didnt leave immediately when she had bad behavior.
My guess is because you valued your M. Leaving immediately isn't supposed to be an option. That's why we get married as opposed to continuing to date.
As for Hope post Reconcil, I never got it back after the A. I wanted to, so I gave her a humongous negative push so I could have hope again. Silly boy.
I intuitively get what you're saying here, but did you have something specific that you needed from her or did you just need for her to put up with your crap for a good long while until you felt she had proved her loyalty to the M again?
Heather, what have been/are your expectations Post Reconcil?
Sigh. I guess I expected him to eventually forgive me or accept that he could not and let me go. Silly girl.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
