Why don't you beat her to the punch and say "gee, the house needs cleaning" or "gee, the yard needs mowing"? How would that go over?
The only way W will make any changes is to see YOU making huge changes and not backing down. This will have to be super consistent for a very long time. Have a friend whose sister is exactly like your W...controlling and rules the roost. Except her H says "OK honey" every time. In this kind of sitch, nothing ever changes. I agree with the statement someone made..."I have no intention of finding out why I want to ML once a week". Do NOT explain yourself.
I don't think it is so much that she doesn't want it, she is just hell bent on being determined not to let you cross the line or give up her control. Happy she is not. Ask her why she is so determined to control this situation...that answer lies deep and it won't be pretty...because this is the real question in this whole scenario...
