Good point, Muddle. None of us can really know what is going through the mind of another. It is disrespectful to think we do! My apologies to your W I viewed the incident through my emotional screens and my limited knowledge of your situation, you do the same ( with more knowldege) as does she. That's what makes all this so mind boggling. I think it's important that we keep things simple and look for solutions versus analyzing it to death. Otherwise we get mired down in hundreds of possibilities that most likely are untrue anyway but get our emotions chugging on all cylanders. Would it be an option in these situations to go back to her and say "I was thinking about what happened and am wondering if there is another way we could resolve these issues in the future. If you are upset with me could we take a minute to discuss it? I will try to listen and be part of a solution" (or whatever you think works better here) I sometimes found going back to my W after an incident was helpful versus dealing with it while she was in full tilt, these days she's much less open to it but... Just a thought for you to consider. This way you are proactively addressing the way an issue is brought up versus the specific issue e.g. Payless. You know, how do we deal with each other when we are upset versus dealing with each specific incident that comes up.
I viewed the incident through my emotional screens and my limited knowledge of your situation, you do the same ( with more knowldege) as does she. That's what makes all this so mind boggling. I think it's important that we keep things simple and look for solutions versus analyzing it to death. Otherwise we get mired down in hundreds of possibilities that most likely are untrue anyway but get our emotions chugging on all cylanders. Would it be an option in these situations to go back to her and say "I was thinking about what happened and am wondering if there is another way we could resolve these issues in the future. If you are upset with me could we take a minute to discuss it? I will try to listen and be part of a solution" (or whatever you think works better here) I sometimes found going back to my W after an incident was helpful versus dealing with it while she was in full tilt, these days she's much less open to it but... Just a thought for you to consider. This way you are proactively addressing the way an issue is brought up versus the specific issue e.g. Payless. You know, how do we deal with each other when we are upset versus dealing with each specific incident that comes up. 