I cant believe it but Im back again! Its 1 year and a day since I moved out, almost got divorced(a week the from hearing), moved back in bought a house and now she doesnt love me. AGAIN! I think Im in shock. Today her friend emailed me a spam letter. When i went to reply it had the full email addresses. My wifes was not the normal one. It was a brand new hotmail account. I stewed for a bit and then called her. I asked why she made a new email account? Her answer was, "I dont want work to read my emails." , and I said ok. But why not keep using the yahoo one you had? She had no answer. We had been seperated for 6 months. This was the second time in 3 years. I thought it was the last time. Things where good for a couple of months but then she began to pull away. The counseling always goes for a month and then missed appointments and we stop going. We havent had sex since Nov and I have been sleeping in my daughters room since I returned in Sept. My daughter is afraid of the dark so she sleeps with my wife. I complained about it several times and tried to laugh it off but... My wife uses the excuse that I snore and it keeps her awake. Asked her point blank if she stayed with me for security/daughter/or if she actually loved me? She said she didnt know. Of course she tried to say I ALWAYS throw the affair (the reason for all this) in her face. But I havent! I asked her about the email because she IS so distant to me. No love is expressed by her. Shes more loving to friends then me. She works 2 jobs because money is tight. But it was her choice to do so. I make more then her still and I pick up our daughter after school, make dinner, etc. I dont bitch about her being gone all the time. I care for her and all that. Still she just doesnt love me. Im just the FATHER of her child. I feel so beaten down. She asked if I want out or something. I said NO! I have lost everything twice. I AM NOT moving out , losing my house or my kid. I AM NOT going to embarrass myself AGAIN to all my friends and family. I said i will stay in a shell of a marriage and see women on the side. She was shocked but I dont care. I told her I have loved her and stood by her but Im not getting shit on again.
She had no answers again and said she has things to think about. I swear to god I cant take the loneliness and pain anymore. If it wasnt for my daughter I dont know what I would do. Probably pack the car and drive away from everyone and everything. I feel like such a loser.
My wife uses the excuse that I snore and it keeps her awake. 