Jeff....great news. Assisted living instead of a nursing home? Hang tough. Throughout all our sitch's, there are moments of challenge. Once again, G-d answers many prayers. I know ONE place where 'babysteps' really count....in your mom's health. WTG. Frank
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I sat down to filter through my tax stuff and that included medical bills. I found a receipt from our local heart center dated in Nov that listed several tests for my W. I did not know this. I emailed W and asked her if she was okay. She admitted she had to go to the ER with bad chest pains. They did not find anything but sent her to the heart center for tests. They told her stress and anxiety.
Go figure. She is sooooo sure about everything, soooooo detached, sooooo wanting the D. And she ends up in the ER.
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On another note, a human interest story about a study of couples splitting up after long marriages in Sunday paper.
“Boomers know they have healthy years ahead; they have more disposable income, and they believe they are entitled to happiness, so they are ending marriages in increasing numbers.” Women initiate divorce 2/3 of the time; 26% of the men never saw it coming. Women handle D better – they seek out support while men tend to withdraw.
The study also indicated that not all couples stayed apart; loneliness and family and friends led them back together. The study also cited a case where a couple D; years later they both developed Alzheimer’s and their daughter took them both in. They did not remember being married so they became great friends. They talked about how they wish that they had met years ago so that they could have been married. “They were certain that their M would have lasted forever.”
I haven't been in touch in a long time and haven't had a chance to catch up on your thread...but I wish you well. I may have told you, I took care of my ill father for 6 months...daily...it really hurt my marriage. But you're doing the right thing. Hang in there.
On my M...simple stuff...mediation tomorrow and then arbitration if it isn't resolved...I'm hoping it is all over in the next week or so. Looks like I'll have the kids one week on, one week off.
More later...
My situation...
David Me-46, Ex-46, S-15, S-17, divorced after 20 years, she filed June '06 Mediated divorce in Feb. 07 50/50 custody
I thought I lost you there. Figured you were divorced already and moved on from here. Good on the custody and I hope your W is at least being civil. She was a flake before the holidays I remember. Please keep in touch. I am right behind you my friend.
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Jeff...praying that your mom is continuing to improve. I just wanted to stop by and thank you again for your patience and unwavering support. I owe you much as do my kids. Frank
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I thought you fell off the deep end. I once counted many friends in ‘separated’, now I rarely open that forum. All ended badly. I can count on one hand those who have gotten that chance and I have read a lot of threads here.
Sorry to hear your update on another post that it is D full steam. I thought you had a shot considering your enthusiasm at first. And when your W started to post I thought that was very positive. See for herself what this was all about. Then the terrible drama with the OM. But I was hoping for good news this time.
Yes, we are in the same spot more or less. I am back to anger and frustration and hate. The holidays really got to me and then my mom being so sick. Only so much a body can take. But another wise person told me God only loads on what he knows you can handle. He has loaded a lot on us, has He not? LOL.
So, we spit in Satan’s eye and move forward. If you are going through hell, go quickly.
Best wishes for a great 2007. Love to your family.
Just wanted to run through your thread since you helped me so much with my situation (and still do!)...
Your first post in this thread was very thought provoking for me, and I have to say those stages you mentioned don't look like a whole lot of fun to go through. But go through them we must I suppose.
I wish I had some sage wisdom to bestow, but I'm so new to all of this and am really just a rookie. What I can do though, is wish the best for you and your situation.
Current thread
Me-38 W-31 No Kids Bomb-10/10/06 She moved out very soon after, and is filing for divorce very soon.
