Sure, the you-complete-me stuff works fine in the beginning. It's even fun. Like two people cinched together for a three-legged race, there is satisfaction in getting the groove of operating side-by-side with perfect fluidity. But when you try to keep those tethers on indefinitely, reality intrudes. Two people aren't going to agree on every move. And they'll get tired of always accommodating the other -- by keeping quiet, by moving the same way, by propping the other one up.
Edited to add:
Quote:
Schnarch says that what happens with many troubled couples is analogous to what happens in children as they mature emotionally. A key developmental task of adolescence is to form separate and unique identities from our parents. (That's what the dismissive remarks and the skin piercings are all about.) We assume that by the time we're married, we're past all that. Not true, says Schnarch. We've merely switched our focus from our parents to our spouses. Temporarily, some of us adopt joined-at-the-hip intimacy as an archetype of marriage.
The bold is for you, cobra. (I know you agree with the first part of that paragraph.)
Several other good Valentine's Day themed articles on msn today.
