I've not been around much because i've had problems connecting to internet but it's all fixed now.
I'm feeling much happier at the moment. My paranoia has stoped (for now)! Well, valentines day today and i was unsure whether or not to give H his card and pressie that i got him. I decided to give it to him and just said "i hope you don't mind but i've got you a little something for valentines day" He looked quite relieved and said he hadn't expected anything. He gave me a big hug and then left the room. I wasn't sure if maybe i had pushed things too far, but then he came back in with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers and a bottle of champagne!! I gave him a big hug and he kissed me on the head and said "things will be alright because that's what we both want". I was so happy i got all emotional and i think he did too. I then took him to the train station because he is going to be away at an exhibition with work today so i won't see him until tomorrow evening. But the other day he actually asked me to arrange a babysitter for Sat afternoon so that we can go for luch somewhere to make up for not being around on Valentines day.
How things have changed!!
It is so amazing that this is happening that at times i do question (to myself)why he is being so nice? Is it because this IS what he really wants or is it a guilty consience? I know i shouldn't think like that, i just find it hard to believe sometimes.
