I'm new here and need help

[hannahsmom]

Thank you 25yearsmlc
your points are well taken - I'm starting to see a pattern on how my behavior helps the situation. I have been lucky on some aspects of this in that my H has been able to say that he needs space from me. COming here and reading Michelles books have helped me focus on what I need to do without doing a temperture check on my H every 5 mins
I am a fixer and I am very impatient and want this to end - but I know that if I push it or him it will not end the way I want it to
D's birthday was yesterday = had a normal night at home eating dinner/cake/gifts all 3 of us togetehr
I learned from mistakes I made on our anniversary to stay away from Valentines day talk
Bought a gift and card for my D - I will focus on her today

I am curious to hear everyones opinion on something
3 days before Christmas we had a MC appt. I wanted to go - H asked me to cancel cause he didnt want to 'ruin Christmas" I was relunctant to cancel but agreed to do it - he spent the whole month of Dec being attentive, bought me some lovely gifts - cooked for my whole family that day = a normal holiday - I even got a lovely card from him

a week later he claimed it was all an act to keep peace and make a nice holiday for D
I was crushed

NOw I know just how up and down this rollercoaster can be and I try not to read too much into good or bad moments
heres ia my question - who is the real H ?

the one who appeared normal at Christmas - where he claimed it was an act - or this cold - detatched roommate who appears to me far too often

is it possible when he says it was an act he was lying to save face ?

my feeling is the latter of the 2 is the one he has to work harder at - but that could be wishful thinking on my part

I too am snowed in today - everyone take care
any thoughts on my above question will be appreciated