HD, I have been reading your thread. Some things are the same some are different in my R with BB.
I was going around and around till I got to the point of which choice I had infront of me was almost equally not want I wanted.
In pops choice #4, not anything I had in mind in the first place.
Choice #4 was detaching more. Choice #4 was OK, BB gets what she threatens to do or tells me what she wants. I got to the point of saying to BB, go do it, I won't be doing it with you.
I don't know if this applies to your situation, but what does your W want from the M, aside from cooking, cleaning, paying for things, and what ever else goes on in your house?
I ask this because I believe everyone wants something from a R, but is what she wants realistic? Once I decided I couldn't give BB what she wanted, and I sort of gave up trying to get what I wanted, that is when I knew I would be OK with her or without BB. After a while, the R got a little better.
I am only suggesting, that to appear to want something, sometimes causes the owner of that thing to up the anty in the trading process, that is unless the OP wants something you have.
I don't like power plays, don't use them in R's, but here I am faced with the playing out of actions or inactions in our R.
Back to, what does your W want, need from you in your M? Are some of her feminist beliefs really a covered-up version of paying for one item but expecting two items?
What helped me a little was to put some of the "Dog Whisphers" lessons to heart You are deserving of some things (own your space/position in the family and R) be considtant, don't give up/in if the going gets tough, be the leader that you need to be, to get the job done. If she doesn't want many of the same goals as you do, then M life will be difficult.
Too many random thoughts so I will hang up for now.
Fearless Victor Frankl Holocaust survivor and author of "Man's Search for Meaning" Good book.
"I want what I want" WTG HD.
Ms. HD "Why do you want it" HD, some people just don't see or get the need for sex in a R. Maybe I read too many other forums, but there are people that think sex is not necessary in a M. It works when two people agree.
