I cannot imagine a parent ever saying something like this to their child, even if they did feel it. Your W has some major issues, that's for sure. If my H had ever said something like this, I would not have ever taken him back.
So good to see a parent, like you, staying strong for their kids.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim