Some days are better than other days. Last night H asked if I wanted to go out to dinner with BIL and SIL. I had class so couldn't go. I was surprised and hurt that he wasn't home at 9:30. Since he decided to stay out (drinking) I thought H would/should call and invite me to meet him. He didn't even call home to see if was home yet, or call on my cell phone. I didn't call him because I just expected him to be home when I got there. D16 was spending the night at a friends and I was planning a romantic evening. Instead I just went to bed. He wasn't that late, but I wasn't feeling very romantic by the time he did get home.
I need to stop being hurt by those kinds of actions (or lack of actions from H). It was such a different feeling, though, compared to Super Bowl weekend. Turned out there was a whole group that met for dinner (which he knew but didn't bother to tell me). He simply said I should have called him. Next time I will instead of pouting. (I was tired since I had been up since 4am so I really didn't feel like going out. I just wanted to be asked!) Matilda
Matilda, It certainly is a positive that your H asked you out to dinner this past week.
Is the class you're referring to the boating class? How did that go?
I can understand your disappointment that the evening didn't turn out the way you had hoped, or that your H didn't pursue you. However, please don't dwell on those thoughts/feelings. It's a challenge to counter the thoughts/feelings associated with having distance in a M, but it's our best option. Otherwise, we become dependent on their actions for reassurance.
Work on gratitude for the positives you currently have in your M and life. Gravitate towards activities that you enjoy, and find meaningful. Take breaks from responsibilities.
You seem to be increasing your awareness of thoughts/behaviors that get you into trouble. That is a sign of good changes on the horizon.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Is the class you're referring to the boating class? How did that go? CL
Yes, it's the boating class. CL, thanks for listening to me and remembering WHAT class!!! H still can't remember that I am taking the class. I'm learning a lot, but H also not acting interested in what I am learning. However, once spring gets here I hope spending time on the boat together will be a good experience.
Things at work are crazy--we're in the midst of a major inspection. I was busy most of the weekend getting ready, and then when I was back home and ready to relax, H disappeared. I told H that once I get through this week I will be happier and more fun to be around. Hope he will agree.
Wondering about Valentines Day. Have some silly gifts and "coupons" for H. Thought keeping it light would be good. Have zero expectations for H to even remember that it's VD.
boating sounds fun! H and I talked about learning to sail, but it turned out I was thinking about a 2 man racing dingy and he was thinking about a motor-launch. Really, that says a lot about the differences between us!
Jen
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself. Galileo Galilei
Matilda, Work sounds rough at the moment. I'm glad to hear it's temporary.
I think the boating class is a step in the right direction. I'm for you doing anything recreational. Keep your expectations low regarding how your H responds to your new activity. Something positive will come from this experience.
I think you're also wise to have low expectations regarding Valentine's Day. The way you're approaching it sounds good to me--light, humorous, but still acknowledging it.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
...and Happy Valentine's Day from me too Matilda. Sorry it's a day late. Hope the inspection went well. Glad you're getting back to those goals. Remind me what are they again? ;-) Boating class sounds interesting. Take care
