Still alive, Part II

[fearless]

Heh. What you actually said was that you were "shocked", which is a synonym for "aghast". ;\)

Ouch! I had to go make sure that I had actually used the word shocking! Yep sure enough - done in by my own word. Looking an synonyms, the real word I should have used was surprising because it wasn't really shocking, scandalous, etc. It just surprised me because the men in my family tend to respect mothering abilities. (and note that I did keep the wink. Am I a good person now?)

Anyway... I think that we found a point that we both agree on - her "questions" do not need to be answered to her. Notice I didn't recommend talking it out with her either.

I still think it is useful for HD to know why he wants sex once a week. Not because there is anything wrong with that "want". I think it would give him a strength around her if he had that internal knowledge. To me, her comments/questions shows that she doubts that he knows himself. I think it would help him to focus on himself and in turn I think she would sense that he was developing a strength on his own. I think this is to what Blackfoot was referring. That there is an unspoken strength when you truly know yourself and know why you want what you want. Knowing why you want something can help you solve your issue (not that wanting sex is an issue but the there may be an issue behind his thought that sex would bring happiness) AND can set you up to receive what you want in the end.

Here are some quotes that I was going to post to Cemar but I think that HD would be more likely to actually read and absorb their meaning.

"What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him." and

"Again and again I therefore admonish my students in Europe and America: Don't aim at success - the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run - in the long-run, I say! - success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it." Victor Frankl Holocaust survivor and author of "Man's Search for Meaning"