Note for the record: she didn't ask him any questions. She told him what she wishes. She's not engaging him at all, she wishes he'd deal with it all on his own.
Knowing nothing about her, I am guessing that it's a weak attempt to ask the question without actually getting an answer. It may be that she suspects that he doesn't have the actual answers. This may be out of place in HD's context (so if I'm wrong, I'm wrong) but I'm not so concerned about Ms HD's faults, mistakes, weaknesses etc. because HD won't be able to "fix" those issues. He can only work on his issues and trust/hope? that Ms. HD will respond to his changes.
Side note: I did read the exchange about your wives being feminists. I believe myself to be a feminist yet I don't subscribe to the feminism you both described. I believe that women should have the right of equal opportunity not that men and women are exactly the same. I personally LOVE being a woman and therefore I am able to love and appreciate men also. I tend to think that the staunch feminist typically doesn't truly appreciate herself as a woman and therefore doesn't appreciate men either. Just a general theory of mine. Your stories also reminded me of a "feminist" acquaintance of mine that was "aghast" (whatever happened to Blackfoot??) that I loved the Spiderman movies (and I hated watching the spiderman cartoon with my brothers growing up). She thought the Mary Jane character was so awful. I didn't get it at all. A beautiful talented sweet girl. What's the big deal - so if she was a nuclear physicist she would have been acceptable? I don't believe that being a feminist means that there is anything wrong with being feminine. Just another side to my belief about feminism.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
