I'm going to write my changes in blue. I tried not to change any of your meaning because I think it's important that you write EXACTLY what you feel and think. I think this type of letter is most importantly for you so you know that you have given him a clear direction that reconciliation is possible IF he wants it. I changed some wording to be present and future tense and to keep a consistent message that you don't want a divorce and that things can change if he wants. If he will be rereading it, I think that might help to keep a clear message. The woulds and coulds might read to him like things are over.
Good Luck
I would expect divorce papers to be served any day now. Before that occurs, I want to make absolutely sure that you know where I stand. I don't want a divorce. Although I am prepared to accept one if we cannot work this out. I wanted only to initiate a separation, but it seems that I cannot simultaneously do that and protect my rights with the kids. Harsh as it may be for the relationship between you and I, I will protect my relationship with them first and foremost. So, divorce papers it is. But I hope that you will see it more as a separation because that is surely all I intend it to be at this point. This does not have to end in divorce...the future has yet to be written and I still have hope for us.
Despite the problems we've had, I still believe we can fix our marriage. It will require a conscious decision on both of our behalves, to do what it takes to rebuild our marriage. I wanted to believe that if I could do this better or that better or be this way or that way or prove something to you that I could fix things between us by myself...I wanted desperately for us to make this work. But I can't fix it by myself because I can't make your decision for you. I know we both have needs and wants that aren't being met right now. However if you decide that you don't want to make any changes, that's your decision and I will respect it, hence the separation. I'm not in a hurry to end things between us, however, I cannot stay in this marriage as it is forever. Any time you decide that you want to work on the marriage with me, I will welcome attending counseling and working toward a healthy marriage for both of us. Our kids deserve it.
I still love you. Heather
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
