I am NOT responsible for his feelings, and I do deserve to have some answers, regardless of whether or not it makes him feel uncomfortable.
As for asking where Payless was - I can't believe she would get so upset about such a little thing. So what? You didn't know where Payless was, big friggin deal!
It is very important to recognize that you are not responsible for the feelings of another person. You are responsible for being true to yourself - being dishonest for the sake of trying to keep another person's emotions at bay is nasty stuff. I have been guilty of doing this in the past and it's not the easiest habit to break. Being on the other side of it can be equally as uncomfortable though.
I don't think it's the not knowing where the place was that sparked the issue, it's more that I made public that we were going to a place that is somewhat stigmatizing that was embarrassing to her. The way I asked it as well as the fact that the cashier didn't know and asked someone else made things worse. I was told that I "should have known that he wouldn't know" etc. Basically I was told that my avoidant skills weren't good enough. I didn't anticipate a situation that would cause her discomfort and I didn't deal with it well. It's holding things like this over my head that make her feel that I cause her so much pain.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
