What made me take my H back? Good question. I know you are only trying to learn from my sitch.
I took my H back because I knew that the person he was during his MLC was not the man that I fell in love with. I knew that he had demons to deal with, and that he needed to face them if he was ever to come back.
He also said that he was pushing me away because he thought that he had ruined everything beyond recognition. He was trying to make a decision about my life for me. And has since realized that I wasn't going anywhere. That I meant it when I said "for better or worse."
Another thing is that I have unconditional love for my H. Yes, as corny as it sounds. I have always had unconditional love for him, but it hadn't been tested until he had his MLC. My H has always tried to push me away because he's never known that love makes you feel good, not hurt. I have always told him that I love ALL of him. Warts and all. That I have always accepted him for who he is, and it didn't matter what happened in his past. Yes, he has had a difficult childhood but in a lot of ways it's made him into the person that I love.
One constant thing that has kept me sane was God. Silly? Corny? I don't know. All I know is that I prayed to Him every morning, noon and night to bring my H back. To help him through this time of darkness, and back to me. And you know what? I never expected anything to actually happen.
There are/have been a lot of things that helped in keeping me standing firm for my M. Yeah, what Jack said is true. My family and friends thought I was nuts. They didn't agree with me and the choice I made. They thought I should just pick up and walk out. But, I couldn't leave my H in his time of need. And I wouldn't.
Was,
I didn't think you noticed. I just blend in the crowd.
Lis,
Thanks Mama! You are one strong woman.
Jack,
I'll never become complacent again. I keep it interesting now. I am one hot Mama, and my H knows it!
PS
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. - David Viscott
