I would just remind you to think about one thing, would this help you get any closer to what you are trying to accomplish? Your main goal is to rebuild your marriage. This requires you to build trust with your h. As hard as it might be, you have to be the one who puts your "neck on the line" and have trust in him. Be patient! Like I've said before I would love to be in the place you are in with my w.
I too wouldn't want to be made a fool of, but with most things in life you have to take chances in order to succeed.
LL: About a month ago i was thinking too much about ex OW... bc it was a year after our separaton, a year after his affair, a year after OW birthday which i found out... a year after his alone birthday without me... So, my thoughts were refresh... the hurt was refresh... and i thought about hiring the service of detective to follow my h just to know if he continue seing her...!!... and in that moments i think about the words my c gave me: Any relation... with or without problems... have a part of unsure, of not knowing what the other part is doing... and the key is learn to live and handle a relation even with that doubt... My c talked about a 15% of unsure... We cant know everything, evry move about our h as many many couples cant neither...!!... And not bc we lived what we had lived, we have to stop learning to live with that, giving them the befit of the doubt...!!... By the contrary, if we want to rebuild our marriage we need to learn living with that...!!... as we lived before this bomb explode...!!... It is completely normal to feel what you are feelings, to have doubt about your h feelings for you and for her... this feelings will be less and less... and i hope as you we can feel more secure and more love by them as time pass and we heal that past completelly, or at least, at a level we can handle...!! (excuse my english, im spanish)
ok ok, I'll admit I did look on line at pi's but they are ridiculously over priced and what good would it do me anyway...h is probably just in his office...the most I would discover is oh gee he stopped for lunch at some dive with one of his buddies and had a beer OOOhhhh my!! I think at this point h knows not to mess with me in regard to ow this one or any other one...he will get caught (hey ya get caught once your bound to get caught again and next time wont be so purty) right now h has it made...he messed up and is being given the opportunity to fix things...he loves his kids and this house to much to jeopardize it again and knows full well that if something like this happens again it's bu bye, put the check in the mail and c ya lata!!!
so then I guess that is just the way I should look a things...guess I was just craving some of the excitment of the ow calling me and pleading for him back or something goofy like that...time to slap myself and realize I don't need to be bothered by her, she knows she lost out..and h knows that if he plays with fire he will lose out too!!! LL
Quoting lostlove: but I soooo want to hire someone to follow h for a month...to ease my worry that he may still be seeing ow or some other ow's for that matter...
The thing is, of course, that it won't ease that worry.
The possibility will always be there. The worry, I suspect, will fade as he earns back your trust.
the ironic thing is...when h is being overly physical with me it eases my worry....BUT then it doesn't as it creates a new bag of worms...why now is h suddenly so physical...has he been getting it elsewhere all along and now that he realizes he can't do that anymore is being that way with me...I don't know and would prefer to not think about it... LL who thinks to much about things she shouldn't think about!! time to close this thread as it has bad thoughts..moving to a new place...the long road home...can't garuntee all will be happy there but a new place is what I need!
SI