Lil Come on. Are you serious? You think just asking for sex on Saturday or Sunday is what has to be done here? Problems go way deeper than that. Why are you simplifying it? It's certainly not going to be easy Hairdog but I think you know what the problems are better than any of us. Tell your W. And not just about wanting more sex. LFL
Did you read this whole thread? Of course the problems go deeper than that. But I believe hd cannot go into any convo expecting his W to agree with him that there are issues, allow herself to be persuaded that his concerns are valid, or even allow that his desire for regular sex is the least bit reasonable. Every time he has tried that, she becomes furious, which isn't a problem in itself, except that it deflects the convo from any concern of hd's.
My suggestion is that he request a behavioral change. Something visible, tangible, measurable. AND that he not explain, discuss, defend, or in any way try to justify it.
A while ago, Mrs. HD in a softer moment, said to HD that she was going to try to be a "better wife." My suggestion is that rather than head down the cheeseless tunnel of propose-defend-justify-argue with her (which always seems to end with her outshouting him and declaring her disgust with men and their filthy urges)-- that he shortcut and short circuit that whole song & dance by simply requesting one simple behavioral change.
It is not a threat. He's not saying "you do this or else"-- because there ISN'T an "or else." It's just a request.
The idea is that she said she wanted to be a better wife. He's telling her how she can be a better wife. If she refuses, let her refusal just lie there baking in the sun (or freezing in the snow) where all can see. THIS IS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE EXERCISE. Not to reduce the issues to "more sex," but to lure her into a place where it is clear to both of them simultaneously that she is not willing to do the SIMPLEST thing to make him happy.
To bring up other issues would muddy the water. The idea is not to give her the opportunity to outshout or outtalk him. I think he should make a simple request and then let her selfishness and refusal to cooperate scream out what is wrong. When they get into one of these knock-down-drag-out things, the issues get lost.
So this is not oversimplification, by any means. What I'm suggesting is like sniper fire-- one bullet, well aimed, instead of a barrage of shrapnel.
