I'm at home, W isn't home from work yet. I appreciate that you support the avoider in me, Lil. If it were up to that part of me, though, I'd never bring it up. Except, of course, in the midst of an argument we were already having, which totally dilutes any meaning I'm trying to convey. I'm actually getting better at that part of it: not bringing up my sh!t as a deflection or issue or whatever, when the argument is about her issues. Unfortunately, I don't do the follow-through, which is, bring up my issues independently. The avoider steps in and says, "Why bring it up now? You're getting along, things are quiet. Bring it up now and you're just stirring a pot that doesn't need to be stirred." So I bury it, and then, when things get loud, I realize that it's HER issues that are getting addressed, not mine.
