ok so h comes home...works in yard...I bring kids out to play...h is receptive to them as usual... they love their daddy!!!
h is rubbing my shoulders and gives me a warm kiss..so I bring the kids in for dinner and h stays out chopping wood (decided to do it with an ax this year instead of renting the spliter, wants to keep in shape, as if he needs it! ) when we are just about done eating h comes in...son wants to go to play roon with daddy, I suggest he let daddy eat dinner first.. so h eats bla bla bla typical family stuff clean up kids and all that stuff...sooooo the talk h wanted to have with me....

was uncomfortable with going out with my friends cause it's not his environment and in light of the sit...and didn't understand what it meant to me for him to come...
also that he is sorry for all that has happend and takes responsibilty for it...
he is working his way home...for now he needs to keep the appartment and spend a night or two there...just as it takes time for a r to fall apart it takes time to rebuild and we are taking our time rebuilding...h feels we are in a far better place now then we have been in a long time..I agree with that actually.
h wants to come home...wants me to be proud to say that's my man...and knows that right now I am not so proud...I let h know that i am very proud of the man that he is and all that he has accomplished with his life...I am simply not proud of the way he has handled the last few years.

h said he knows i am hurting...as the betrayed partner...but he is hurting also because he knows he was the one who did this and that he will live with forever.

h is trying and I am trying to be patient...I never was very patient.. I was always the one poking her skin after a half hour in the sun to see if I had gotten any color yet...

h is going about things in the right way...he could never have just moved back home and jumped right back into things...i knew that before he wanted to try...it will take time...hey look in just two months I've gone from h wanting a divorce and treating me as no more than the mother of the kids to h spending 5 out of seven nights here with me!!! that is actually a pretty fast pace...so I should once again look at what I have.. though some flowers would be nice too!!!
LL