i don't know...h seems to think that things go fine and then I let external things effect our r...(ie yesterday received an email from an aquantance who has been sleeping with her babies father for six years even though he got married 5 years ago...bothersome to hear of her makeover and his reaction to it while visiting the shared child, just annoying that people have that little respect for themselves) maybe things do make me crazy and have bad thoughts of our r but maybe I was just tired from having been out all night and day..and drinking to much landed me with a little depression...or perhaps I was just straight up feeling rejected at the fact that he would choose to go out with buddie rather than tourture himself at a casino just cause it would make me happy to have him with me....
anyway some not nice words on my part today...oh I'm famous for it...
got a call on the cell while in dd's doc appt (2 shots boo hoo) bla bla bla how dit go bla bla bla...I will go with you sat and well have a good time...give me a call when you get a chance...
brought tears to my eyes how pathetic am I!!!????
so h is now on his way home to pick up the plow may stay may stay at his appt to get out early for the snow...but did say we'd talk...that I didn't like he said no is not bad just want to help you a bit with your worry...so maybe I'll hear something possitive...
I am trying to be patient and I know this will take time...I just wish I knew what it was h was waiting for...
I don't mind doing my own thing sometimes or h doing his own thing...but if I ask at least for now I'd like to be well recieved...hell for now I should be treated like the queen of the freaken universe for still holding on, even if I'm a little bitchy sometimes but hey the wives of the really really nice guys tend to be bitchy all the time, LL
