AWESOME Jen! It's about changing our interactions, being aware when we're acting out of emotion. I swear, this is one of the best things that's come out of this experience!
Sounds like you did well!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Just letting you know I am still reading (along with 2200 hits on this thread). Wonderful stuff. And I still remember your first post! This is NOT the same Jenny!!!
reading your last post just makes me want to try harder! Or try something different, as Michele puts it. Just being able to discuss your differences together is a major milestone! I hope to one day get to that point with my W as well!
All the best!
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
2200 hits!! Blimey!!!! Had another good R talk tonight - H isn't stressed out by them AT ALL now!! We talked tonight about where we were, how we BOTH got it wrong and how we are going to move forward. We are both willing to work on this, we both realise we will have disagreements in the future, but that we can now deal with them far far better. And I like myself a lot more now .... for me, yes I've saved my M but the MOST important thing is that I am FINALLY getting rid of years of low self esteem. I never thought that was possible!! thank you all for kind replies and help along the way 0 I'm still hanging about, giving myself all of this year to make the "new me" natural, rather than having to think about it. Takes kindness and patience.
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
your story is very inspitational and can give many people hope. i want to say something here and i am not saying this to start any problems or to bring you down in any way. but most of the things that seems to happen in your thread seem to be you having an opinion and your husband conceding. there are a few things that stand out and there are times when you really have to shut your mouth and leave it alone. i say this only because i tried to control everything aswell when I first came home and should have just kept my mouth shut.you have come very far and that part is wonderful. just remember only one thing your husband married you because he wanted a wife and a friend he never wanted a mother or a clingy needy demandingpartner.
thank you happy again - it didn't bring me down I always appreciate another POV. Hmm...lately it has been a bit of me "winning" and I am aware. Recenly H had another tatoo done, and it's not that nice BUT it makes him happy and it doesn't make me unhappy so I told him it's no big deal at all. I am the stronger one in this R, I am more dynamic and H does tend to "go with the flow" a lot - and not just with me, he does it in other aspects of his life too. I've asked him to not go with the flow with me if he really doesn't want to, but my skill will lie in not putting him into a position where he feels pressured.... Am taking this piecing thing quite slowly, I am happy to let the rest of this year continue to be a learning experience, but to be honest life is one of those! Happy_again thank you for reminding me that sometimes the best thing to say is...nothing (but I don't update when I say nothing...perhaps I should/pay more attention to that. Plenty of food for thought...)
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
thank you for not being mad at my post to you. sometimes my words are taken out of context. i am very happy for the wonderful progress you have made.just remember it takes two.
