ll, you have a good attitude as far as i can see. you are coming from strength, maturity. you are not desperate or needy. that is huge. it took me almost four years to get where you are. for almost four years my h waffled, romantasized the single life. had one foot in and one out of our marraige. always on the lookout for a reason out. i was made so needy and desperate for his crumbs. we both lost respect for me. once i got strength it wasn't long before h noticed and started to self-reflect. it seems your h is coming around. he is probably so afraid to make a mistake. little can he see the biggest mistake he is making is by what he is not doing. when the time comes to let him go, you will know. it is usually at this time our s feels changes in their hearts. i remember telling h that i would not sit around and wait for him to choose, i was moving ahead with my life. he could see by the way i was living that was the truth. he said he didn't want to give me hope as he had hurt me so much already. i ignored that comment. i said my hope and my life belong to me. if you decide that you want this marraige you can talk to me about it and we will see where i am with that then. the shock of seeing me so strong and taking control had a huge impact on him. i had reached the end of my rope and had to take a stand. but i knew i still loved him and had hope of us working it out. i did not lock the door on him just closed it. i spoke without anger or blame. just doing what i had to do for my sanity. i totally respect any decision you make. lisa
