tired of waiting

[TinaG]

Hoping, Rachel, LL

what kind of time frame do you think it should be to decide that you have had enough.

My H said to me on the weekend that he has to come back on his own, not from his mind but from his heart, in his time frame, not mine. So if we choose to wait that is what we have to do, they cannot be rushed.

Now as to our time frame..Myself I have set a date in my head, no one knows of this date but me, at this time I will figure out what I want to do. (wait some more or give up) This is my date and I can change it if I want without anyone knowing. A friend of mine that I have recently gotton closer to has told me of her situation with her H. (they have been separated for 4 years and are going for a divorce) She said their problems were in the marriage for a while, he had several affairs. She said they tried to repair their M, moved here, new jobs etc. but it got to the point where she knew it was over. She told me that I will know too if the time comes.

So the bottom line is, we will just know. So for now if we choose to "wait" we shouldn't beat ourselves up about it. Choosing to wait doesn't mean that we stop living, on the contrary we should get on with our lives. Let pride back into our lives and be proud that we are handling it, because we are. We can survive without them and we will if that is what is to be.

I don't know about your sitches, but in mine I am taking care of EVERYTHING, the cooking, cleaning, kids, appointments, homework&assignments(helping), work, finances etc. and I am doing it well! I can do this! I am proud that I AM coping, I'm not curled up in a ball somewhere. (I doubt that any of you are either) I am not "avoiding" anything, running away from anything, I am hitting it head on and I am surviving!

I woke up this morning with a sense of empowerment. I see what I have done and what I am capable of doing BY MYSELF! This is a great feeling. I may want my H back, but I don't NEED him. Feel like I'm turning a corner and it FEELS GOOOOD!

Tina