Mama, what I was alluding to was already posted: #926810 - 02/10/07 12:41 AM
Theo, I scheduled myself long ago to work this Wednesday night. Seemed like way too many expectations if I was off work. So, I will buy him a card and leave it for him before I go. Expect nothing, or some bogus non-romantic gesture, from H. Last year's card from him was truly bad, so hopefully it won't be that bad (or worse- ack). But at least it was a card. No card will be worse.
He's looking for jobs out of state this week. Haven't figured out how I feel about that. He suffers much here daily (hourly, even) but I don't know how "healed" he'll be by moving either. Plus, I have zero intention of going without a recovery plan in place for the M. With goals, actions, and some fcuking commitment to making the M/R a priority.
But. With that said, I do plan to pray about it, and asked H to pray together again (he abandoned that, hasn't been consistent ever with it. Driving me crazy with his inconsistent nature about the R) about the job stuff, stay vs. go stuff, and to make sure that as a unit we do what God would want.
Sigh. I'm tired. And flirting with pissed-off-ness. I've done a really good job of stuffing that for now. Of no use, and no good comes of me whining about what I'm not getting, blah blah.
That's about it.
Theo, don't push the V-day stuff. It's just a day, man. I do plan to write on the card some version of "I love you" b/c it is V-day, so think I get a pass for that. But it's not been spoken between us for months and months. bleh.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
