not being impulsive dotto, h was half a bf, then half a h, then left then decides to come back half way, wtf... I don't deserve this crap.. I deserve a man who knows what he wants.... the longer h waits the less I feel like waiting for him. I don't need him... he is not my support.. not my buddy... barely my friend... that has been his choice all along... I do not need him he does not need me... so what are we doing here.... just the same old dance again and again.... h probably should not have gotten married at all and I should not have married him.
I have spent the better part of my life waiting for him to not be to busy or involved with other things to share himself with me and when he finaly had the time he chose to give himself to someone else.... I cannot wait any longer I feel less and less for h with each passing day... I deserve to be loved, cherished, adored and all I am is the mother of his children and a nice peice of ass... yes he does listen to me and offers support but tells me little of his feelings I am tired of living this way.. I want someone who wants to share themselves with me and he seems to just want to share space with me...and then only on some nights.
h once again chooses to spend sunday his only day off with his buddy watching football and not with his family.... I should not have gotten married and though i love my children dearly I should not have had them... this is not a family.... I don't want to be here anymore... I wish I were the man then I could walk away and leave him here. LL
