many people would probably consider me a fool to say these things but really i am tired of waiting.... a year ago I discover h's ea (of course he foolishly thought they were just friends ya whatever) 3 months later h moves out....along comes the d train... love you not in love with you bla bla bla....fell in love with her was ready to marry her after she left her h... suddenly 6+ months later h wants to "try".... so I accept....well now for almost 2 months h has been spending time here with me actually 5 nights a week yet still brings a bag leaving nothing here, even though he brings it all back to do his laundry. he stays at his appt usually every sun night and wed night.
h does not know when he will actually move home.... cannot even tell me that in 4 months he will be living here.
honestly a year now I have put up with this crap... six months out and i still am open to a home comming.... two months of "trying" and I am growing tired of the whole thing.... really how long should it take for this man to decide if he wants to be my h or not.... what the hell is he waiting for some pitter patter to go off in his heart???? it's already going off in his pants.
I cannot live this way for much longer and am not afraid to tell h. so yell at me if you wish... today I asked h if he would start to leave some of his stuff here instead of bringing a bag as the bag thing annoys me shows me that he is not comming home.... he agread to leave some stuff but honestly i shouldn't have to ask him to....
I don't know how much time h really thinks he has but I have let him know that with each passing week his time grows shorter and shorter I will not live this way... he should be able to make a descision... so the bitch that i am... I have let him know that I will not tollerate this much longer... til he makes up his mind... he will not sleep in my bed with me and don't even think of touching me until you make up your mind. it really should not be all that difficult. a better woman would have given up on him 6 months ago.... I am not afraid to be without him... he is afraid to be without me.. but I am truly sorry you cannot be a part time h.. be here or don't be here... stop dragging my heart around or there will be nothing left in it for you when and if you do decide you want to be here.
I have a number for a lawyer H knows this has seen the card that i purposefully left on the fridge. I don't have much left in me to wait around for this man to decide if he wants to be my h or not.
