just got an email from spouse: are you ready for me to start looking for a place?

We had an episode last night. She said she couldn't go back to our relationship, it didn't work (sound familiar) and I said I couldn't go on in the relationship we have now. She assures me she can't change her feelings. I told her we differed on that because I believe feelings can be changed. She said she'd ask her therapist (whom I suspect is a part of the problem, or for sure not a part of the solution) Then she pulls out "are you ready to give up daughter half the time" and I answer "are YOU?" and we tango around that a while, me expressing opinion that it isn't best for 7yr old to live in two places. She finally threatend NOT to leave in order to be with daughter.

I took a break and when I returned I calmly apologized for losing my cool (I laughed when she said "I can't change my feelings"...a snort really, it just flew out...at least it wasn't "the F you CAN"T!") and said that I agreed with her and didn't want to go back to our old relationship either, I wanted it to be better than ever. I also said "you can't change your feelings about me as long as you aren't investing in me". Then I took another break.

Last night she was back on the topic of family vacation and today I get "are you ready for me to look for a place"...HELP!!!! This just seems like such a weenie way to have somebody else make her decisions for her. Then she's blameless in the end because it wasn't up to her. HELP!!! anybody done this? Advice.


I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it.
Stubby