Husband is moving out on 2/17/07

[jamespb75]

My sitch is on this page, she said she wants to be OM, I have no idea whats going on, except that I am moving back in, against her wishes, because I have to be with my family. If she decides to leave, I will be upset, but at least I have my home with my S. Thinking of your Spouse with another person, hurts, makes you sad, your stomach gets tied in knots, you want to cry, but you are angry enough to hit something. Right? It's normal, and it won't go away.

In that article, he made his wife feel things the other man couldn't, while he worked on the things that the OM was giving her. When she found that he could give her it all, she came back and things were better. You need to work on what he is finding in OW, then work on how to change so you can give it to him too. But you lack that right now and everyone in this sitch let it go too far with no communication to fix it before it got to this point. So find ways to communicate without trying to FIX it, and retain ideas of how to change for the better. Work on yourself first, then the M will start fixing itself through actions, not words. Words to the people mean nothing, it sends thier minds into a pile of mush and words just get lost in the mess. If you ever watch the expression on thier faces when you start telling them how it can work and it will get better, They look like zombies and resent that you want to change now that it came to this. Thats why actions are better than words. Show them how you have changed, don't tell them how you want to change.

Don't worry about me, if you have some advice go to my thread. I am not here giving you support because I want it in return. I find it helps for me to give other people advice, then I try to practice it myself. I have made all the mistakes the books tell you not to do. I just want to pass them on so people don't do the same. Thanks for caring.