URGENT! OW had an abortion, H miserable

[ourcrisis]

Linda, I am happy for you. After 10 months, do you feel like you can trust him now? Or are you two still working on the trust issue.

I feel so down today. Friday night we had a long talk and at one point he express "he loves me a lot more than he does for her...there is a specialness that is not just our 20 years or the kids". I took that as a good sign. Of course, there's still all this guilt about letting her go through with the abortion, etc. and he still loves her...

But yesterday, the topic of Valentine's Day came up. He wanted to know if I have anything planned. I said nothing solid yet. (I was planning to have a candle night dinner on the 13th, to be safe, at home but I am not telling him). He eventually said he wanted to just stay in the office on the 14th because if he goes out with either person, the other party will be depressed. I did not say anything. I can see his "reasoning". At the same time, I have this sickening feeling. With all his love of declaration for me, I still only have the same emotional weight as OW. I mean, excuse me, I am YOUR WIFE!!!! I am overwhelmed with the feeling that may be this is not worth fighting for anymore.

I know may be this is just one of the up and down emotional waves that I am feeling. But I feel really down today, thinking about lots of negative things and conviencing myself that it's not worth it.