It's been a bit since I posted. Mostly because I am trying to pull myself out of the slump I always feel like I am in.
Cat- We have both tried counseling, individual and marriage.
Sven- You do make sense with what you posted. I guess my biggest issue standing in my way is not being 100% sure that I want to keep working on this M.
The biggest part of me says just be done with it. It's time for me to detach, get out of this unhealthy M and move on with my life and my kid's lives. Thinking it, wanting it and actually doing it are totally different things.
On a side note, I did make some plans with a friend. We are taking an overnight trip next month to see a concert. I will be back in my home state and we are staying with my mom. My excitement was short lived as H got mad and didn't talk to me for two days. His issue was I told him I wanted to go instead of asking if I could go. The conversation when like this: I told him I would like to go, he said "Ok". It hit the fan when I mentioned my friend wanted to go. He got mad ASSuming he couldn't go. I never said he couldn't....conversation didn't get that far before he stormed away from me. I told him if he wanted to go too he only had to say something. He didn't and it's not really his type of music.
Sometimes I really wonder if it's more me then him causing the problems in this M or if I am letting him convince me it's me. Gee...did that make sense?
The conversation when like this: I told him I would like to go, he said "Ok". It hit the fan when I mentioned my friend wanted to go. He got mad ASSuming he couldn't go. I never said he couldn't....conversation didn't get that far before he stormed away from me. I told him if he wanted to go too he only had to say something. He didn't and it's not really his type of music. 
