Nick, It's extremely hard to deal w/an mlcer when they are in the home, but more so when they are only back because of finances. You've been given some excellent advice by the other posters. Now, step back and allow her space, time and freedom to work on herself.
You have to find a way to understand that she's still in crisis and you have to leave her alone. If she comes to you for sex, fine, but don't raise the issue w/her right now about it. She's basically told you she's not ready to go that far w/you just yet. The option is there in her mind, but she's not ready for it.
Nick, you have to learn to look at her differently. She may look like your wife, but right now, she's not. She's reverted back to a much younger stage in her life and you are not part of it except to offer her a safe haven for this time period. If you leave her alone, give her the space she needs to work on herself, she very may well stay. If you continue pushing or prodding, she will bolt once again, finances or no finances standing in her way.
Take this time to work on yourself, i.e., do things for yourself and look at your wife as nothing more than a roommate. Nick, read the threads posted by Smurf (Simon). His wife is still at home and it's not been a pleasant trip either, but he's learned to give her a wide berth and is doing things for himself.
Follow your wife's lead, just as you would with a dancing partner. You are no longer the leader in this dance. Your wife will give you signs of where she's at in all of this, you just need to listen very closely when she speaks.
