Piecing Advice

[Rob1231]

H has been amazing. He said all he wanted was for me to really figure things out and let it all out. He asked me why I wasn't angry with him...and I can't answer that. Am I? Jen, Rob, have you found you're angry with your S?

Because the thing is, I feel no anger towards H at all. I think I went through that whole process during DBing where there were times I almost hated him for putting us through this. And I came to an understanding of his position because I know and love him.

So, am I harboring anger towards him? I don't feel like it....I don't act like it....but then I was totally shocked at just HOW angry I felt towards the snatch.

Whew, what a session, SD! Glad you finally got to put all of that on the table - I know how much it has bothered you to bottle it up.

My sitch is at a different place ATM. W and I never discuss the A or OM. Someday, we may be able to, but for right now we're more at a spot where we are working on us and ignoring that incident. Healthy? I don't know - I guess it's not healthy that this is unresolved, but it is healthy that neither of us seems to be focused on it. The last time I saw my C, she advised just leaving it be if I could, for a very long time - felt that it would do more harm than good to discuss it at this point. I agree.

I don't think I'm repressing anger towards W. I understand how she got to the point where this happened, and I regret that she let it go that route, and I regret my own part in it. I love her and just want things to keep getting better.

The OM, on the other hand.... Well, it's fortunate that he lives 2+ hours away, and chances are that I will never encounter him again. If I take any time to sit and think about him, it still can make my vision go red and vivid fantasies of doing him serious bodily harm can play through my head. If I ever met him in person, I don't know what I would do - but it would not be pretty. Fortunately, I have very little reason to give him any more thought. I really do feel for you and others who encounter the OP on a regular basis - that has to be VERY tough!!!