My thread finally got locked but I wanted to respond about Byron Katie. The problem I have is that I can work through an assertion and its direct opposite and end up in the same place. The only thing that "is" would be the persons behavior, thoughts and such cannot be proven to be "true". Therefore, "I was wrong about H" and "I was right about H" end me up in the same place. H's behavior is what "is" - he is supportive, he is loving, he is kind AND he is not as sexual as I would like.
I mean, I guess there are some guys who would have taken their wives in their arms a few days after an accident like that and passionately kissed her, maybe even brought her to orgasm without sex knowing that they weren't supposed to have sex - and they would do that for the same reason that my H does some things he does - because they deeply love her and are so grateful to have her still around despite her stupidity. Strangely, my H said something to someone who came over to see if I was ok like, "Well, since we can't have sex..."
I offered to cancel our trip next weekend (we are going away without the kids) due to the expense and the fact that I suck as company right now (I still keep crying once or twice a day, am having trouble sleeping and feel more anxiety than I would like to admit about driving to work tomorrow). H said he thinks we need to go now more than ever. I just hope I can have myself back together by then.
