That story makes me really sad. It is so hard to help children learn to be both polite and friendly and at the same time careful and self protective. When my son was small I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would have gotten into the car with any nice stranger who asked - he was just so sweet and open. I am convinced that my DD9 would never have done so but at the same time the societal conditioning that happens with young girls is the thing that keeps them from being "impolite" in those kinds of situations. Keeping children safe is harder than any of us like to think. I'm sure your Mother would have been stunned at how quickly and easily someone gained access to her child. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Strangely, I was just thinking about the conditioning issue yesterday when I was sorting through hand me down baby clothes and stuff in the attic. DD2's clothes were just this sea of pink, flowers, bows etc.., they were absolutely precious and I put them in a "hope box" for the mother of my God sons who dearly hopes for a little girl next time. Note - I am not given to very frilly girl clothes, these were actually fairly plain in comparison to a lot of girl clothes. Then I searched through her boxes of baby clothes - sports themes, dinosaurs, blue, overalls etc... I don't think we should have an androgenous society but it is amazing how early and pervasive that conditioning is. I really favor ALL children learning at least some basic self defense.
I used to babysit a lot when I was 12. I babysat over the weekend at a major hotel in downtown Honolulu for a family that I knew very well so the parents could relax, attend some parties and whatnot. The kids were two elementary aged girls. There was a man (30ish) watching us in the cafe and he came over to make chitchat. I remember getting a distinct feeling that there was something wrong with this guy. I had no idea what to do and I made up some reason to leave. I recall being petrified that he would follow so I took the girls up several stories past our floor, walked around there, etc... for a while before we actually went to our room. I never told security, their parents or mine. Why? Who the heck knows? I probably decided that I was being paranoid.
What do you think brought up this memory at this time? Might be interesting to think it through.
Karen
PS I am often so impressed with the things that are shared on this forum. This really is the stuff of life = no one makes it unscathed.
