Astimegoeson, There was nothing unDB about what you did! You set a boundary and did something different. That sounds pretty DB to me!!! (And it was fun too LOL)
Well, I'm a little more circumspect than the rest of the fan club, but I still think you did OK. There's nothing wrong with insisting on getting basic courtesy (so long as you're giving it as well). Just because she's still legally your W doesn't give her the right to say or do absolutely anything. Good job on setting the boundary, not getting pulled into the fray, and staying cool in the heat of the moment!
Nothing new today. Was scrolling through an inmate search website that show prisoners who are up for parole during any particular month/year. I know, I know, obsessive on my part, but I can't find any inform on average incarceration rates on 2 ND degree Murder inmates.
If your convicted of second degree murder, you will automatically receive 15 years to Life. Sometimes 20 to life under certain circumstances. Another 3 years will be tagged on for a gun spec. As I was going over all the records of convicts up for parole, I noticed the average rate of incarceration was about 20 to 22 years respectively for 2nd degree. As an interesting side note, I found that rapist will do as much or more time as second degree Murderers. None support, various fraud, various drug, and domestic violence convictions will land you anywhere from 1 to 3 years.
I never thought I would be researching something like this, but the stbx is forcing me to. I have to protect my kids. I hope her OM does the 20 to 22 average which will give my kids some more time to grow up before OM comes around. I just wish our justice system and parole boards were more sensitive to public safety instead of overcrowding.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
W called me on the phone last night to see if I would watch S6 Friday night into Saturday afternoon. I told her it would be my pleasure and that I had a surprise for him which is really a toy I wanted to play with myself (Air hogs Remote Control Plane)! Cool stuff, we crashed last one into a tall tree and couldn't get it out without risking bodily injury. I might attempt the climb in the springtime if wind/snow storm doesn't bring it down by then. Lesson... Don't give a 6 yr old control around trees.
Anyway, W corners me into a R talk. Starts out nice and sweet, sometimes I miss you, sometimes I miss our family, etc., then halfway through the conversation says we are like oil and water and that she sometimes wants to punch me in the face. Of course she said it with a half laugh, but I could tell she really still felt that way. I told her after 14 months of separation that I had hoped her anger would have subsided by now, not that I totally understand her anger in the first place. She said the Doctor took her off her AD's last week and it was making her anxious, angry and impatient again. She's been on them now for about 8 months. God have mercy on her co-workers, they have to be around her more than me. Not sure why Doctor took her off of them, but I'm back to being the punching bag. I ended the call by wishing her a good night.
When does this anger subside? After all this time, I can't understand what is still driving it. It really eats at her. She's angry at her work situation, her family sometimes, and of course, me all the time.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
It's official, I'm stuck at work all night because of weather. W called to tell me the electric went out which I knew would happen once the ice storm hit. Last night, I took a kerosene heater and some fuel over to her in preparation. I showed her how to work it and she felt comfortable doing it. I also brought over some fresh batteries for the flashlights and DC lantern.
W told me electric went out and she's glad I brought over the heater and batteries last night. I said no problem, I didn't want her and S6 freezing to death in the dark and knew I couldn't get back out there if I went to work this morning. I'll be staying in the conference center hotel tonight. They called the night shift to stay home.
W talked small talk to me for a while and said she was a little frightened. I told her there was nothing to worry about, that She had everything she needed to stay warm and the house to stay lit. I even bought some new 6 volts for the portable stereo, so she has music , news, and weather. I told her I was just a phone call away and would call Frank (next door neighbor) and ask him to keep an eye out for them. She was appreciative.
W didn't want to stop talking. She said it's times like these that she misses me and my reassuring voice and presence. I told her I'm always concerned for her and S's welfare and that wouldn't ever change. I was careful not to take it any further than that because I've been down this road before. W asked me to call later on and check in on her and S6. I told her I would and not to worry about anything, that I would be back home sometime tomorrow if she needed me.
I know she wasn't on her period, so she wasn't using the once a month emotional crutch routine on me. This sounded sincere, but surprising. Never can figure her out and I'm not trying anymore, but it was an interesting exchange. I guess I'm her hero in a crisis and her punching bag all other times. She so Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide that I just can't read anything into it.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
