I jumped over to your post to thank you for your comments on abandonment. I was hoping that you could give me a little more insight, although you gave me so much already. The important thing that i took from your message is that abandoned adults look for love and when they think that they have exhausted what you have to offer, they look elsewhere. What is your take on some of these comments that I got from H when we were still living together 1. You don't really love me, if you really do you would be treating my so much better. 2. You used me and got just what you wanted. I was your sperm donor and now you can go back to mommy and daddy with your kids and live a really happy life? 3. I do NOT have abandonment issues! I grew up in a loving family that adopted me and treated me like their own child. There is no way that your therapist and mine can even think that!
H also drinks to excess. Once he starts he has trouble stopping. At least he did have this problem when I moved out.
Now my BIG question to you is this: should I keep trying to show him through little ways and bigger changes on my part, that I will NOT be the next one to abandon him? He was left at 4 mos. old by his biological mother, Wife #1 left him, adopted mother died, and now I'm the last woman in his life (other than our daughter). What are your thoughts.
Thank you so much for your perspective. I haven't been able to find anyone who could help me!
