Sorry for the long silence. A combination of frequent travel, jet lag and a cold had me knocked out.
Thanks for your long post and your thoughts. Yes, I also think that lack of work had gotten to my (proud) W. Luckily she now has received a contract for a major chunk of work, though again just by herself. They want to pay her three times what she bid at, so that is even better. With the sudden new workload, she has stopped talking about going to Germany (and OM) - maybe that is no longer so important to her...
She didnt' want to tell me how much the contract was for, which bugged me a bit (I tell her pretty much everything financial), but I don't think the change in situation is a bad thing.
Mind you, she said a while ago that she wanted to 1) finish renovating the house, 2) get a job, and 3) get out, and this is one of those three... If she actually does move out, that will be another nail in my coffin, and I suppose it would be appropriate to file for D (the Swedish 6 month waiting period would still give us time to fix/try out things).
She is now actively planning a vacation visiting my parents this summer. It will be interesting to see if she moves out before then and what we will do - I don't want to lie to anyone.
Had lunch a few days ago with my (French) manager and a good, intimate conversation - he also has similar relationship problems with his wife. We trust each other, plus it is unlikely that he will meet my W, so I don't think there was any danger in sharing. Nice to talk with a friend.
W is talking about chaining herself to a tree to stop building in town; we seem to be on the same wavelength. Now I need to send out the 'let's form an anti-building alliance' letter to the various parties.
My job situation is shifting now also. At my current job they want me to work 50% for another division, something I am not sure I will like. I got offered a job last week, when I was in Germany, and then this week again, with my Dad, when I was in Boston. It seems like a job change of some sort, small or maybe larger, is coming. Not sure how this will affect our M.
Yes, she does do that transference stuff, putting some other problem onto me at times, often under stress. Her work problems could be spilling over onto me, yes... She has no problem with assertion (at all!), but maybe hasn't be receiving the validation (professionally, emotionally, physically) she needs. Beauty and strength are very important to her, in herself and others.
The marathon training is going well. I took a fitness test this morning and got rated good for my age group, just short of the very good category. It is nice to have a project again. Tomorrow is a 10-12 mile run!
Best news of the day is that her last email signed off with 'love' -
A brighter day to you also -
Best, from a smoggy California -
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
