Ask away. I am just not sure if I can explain it well. I only have a vague understanding of it myself. I have not been able to get a clear and concise answer when I have asked. Therefore, I don't quite believe in it.
We took her to a "specialist" which I usually translate into as a much elder person gifted with the understandings of the "other" forces in the world. It might help to let you know I am Asian. There is a belief that the world is made up of several elements and these elements must be balanced for harmony. So my D was seen by this elderly man in his home. He happens to be related to MIL. Not sure how. But everyone seems to be related. Yet that is another topic. My D was said to have too much of one element determined mainly by touch. This may sound cruel, but I have experienced it first hand as a child and not much pain involved. To correct the balance he took a piece of "something" (can't describe it). I will find out what it is call and let you know. Well he took a lighted incense and lit the "thing". There is a slight glow, but it diminishes quickly. This "thing" was then placed on her over different areas of her head, forehead, face, hands, and feet. Naturally, my DD is crying the moment the "thing" first made contact against her skin and long after it was done. My MIL was holding D during the whole process. All I could think about was Asian's give a whole new meaning to tough love.
Journaling:
Spoke to H a couple of times over the phone. Yes, I know. I shouldn't be calling so much. I had my reasons. The first call was made to ask if he needed anything from Costco. I usually like to ask because I don't like going more than once a month. Mainly because I will be shopping for two families (immediate), his and mine (just caught how I would separate the two). Conversation was cut short because his co-worker was calling.
Called him again on the way to work to give him info about my W2 and such. We are planning to file jointly for last year. H was still at work. Short conversation.
I called him again remembering how I had forgotten to tell him I had moved more of my stuff back from my parents. Should have asked, but I didn't think I was going to be bringing that much stuff back. I didn't want him to think I was dismissing this was his place and he has allowed me to stay. When I called I hear his friends in the background. Sounded like they were watching television. Perhaps waiting for the rest of the gang to arrive to start playing Texas Hold'em. That would be a usual Friday night for them. For some reason I was upset to hear them there. Perhaps it reminded me that he was spending time with them religiously every week like before and maybe they weren't going to gamble, but gathering to go clubbing. That was a possibility. When I spoke to him, he didn't offer any info of what he may be doing and of course I didn't ask. For a while after that call I was very upset and contribute it to the fact that he may be having fun without me. But after giving it much more thought, I realized I should be happy he picked up my call. He could have ignored it and let it go to v/m, like he has done before. Guess this could be a baby step from the latter view.
PS: The stuff I was bringing were clothes. For the past month or so I have not felt a need to deviate from the 5 sets of clothes I would interchange. Mainly because I had gained a lot of weight with my pregnancy and was not able to fit properly into most of my clothes. Now that my old favorite jeans are fitting so loose, I am sure I can make use of my other clothes. I even feel like giving more thought to what I will be wearing on the weekends when I see H. Don't get me wrong. I was not in sweats and such most of the time, just mainly in jeans and t-shirts. More of a casual person anyways. Sorry about my ramblings. But this has helped my PMA stay high. I gained so much weight during my pregnancy I thought I would never lose it all. Just 5 more pounds to get back to my original pre-pregnancy weight! Then I just need to work on gaining back muscle.
