Don't Trade Our Love For Tea & Sympathy

[believing_isaiah43]

this is from Theoden on my last thread. Will address it after my update to follow.

God loves the raise the dead. He loves impossible situations. It's only when you are hopeless (in your own abilities) that you can really start to have hope (in Him). So start hoping again, because it looks like God is at work in your situation. I feel it.

First of all, I diagree with your counselor. If you've forgiven your husband for the A, then what grounds do you have to leave him? I'm speaking biblically. You can do what you want, but I'm asking you to think.

Second of all, I don't think your husband is leaving you anytime soon. He wants to work this out, he just hates himself right now. And yes, it sucks not having affection back. I know what that feels like. But thank God, you have time.

Thirdly. I think if you really GAL and start to to be fulfilled indepdendently of him, you will begin to attract him. People aren't attracted to drowning, upset, needy people. And also GAL can be spiritual growth. Maybe allowing Christ to be your righteousness, joy, peace and worth will begin to let you loosen the pressure on your husband. If you cup is full with Christ, then your husband won't feel that he needs to conform to your expectations in order for you to be happy. And that's sexy. You can be joyful in Christ even if hubby doesn't hug you tonight.

You know what helped me? Excercize and painting religious icons and...Writing down every night before I sleep at least 5 things I am thankful for that day. It can be small stuff: the salad I had for lunch, the smile I shared with my wife, etc. After 2-3 weeks I went from being morbid to being joyful and buoyant. But write it down. I also see a great Christian counselor who recommended a book: Authentic Happiness. He helped me climb out of a depression. He also recommended vitamins/supplements that could help my dark moods.

So..what are some GAL ideas for you? They don't need to be expensive.

Also, did you try Michelle's idea of writing down what you want from your husband in small, bit-sized, goals? And then asking him when you are both in an OK mood?

Keep at it hun. You are amazing for trying this.