I'm here now and ready to find the support I can not find in my husband. Here goes...
I fell in love in 1993 and never looked back. We had such incredible fantastic times that even today I cannot regret one moment. We were married in May of 01 and my father died in Dec of 01. I drank myself to despair and retreated. I asked him for help and he helped heal my back. After that time in my life I thought, no I knew, he was the one I would always love. We connect, communicate and felt passion for so long that I think we became complacent this past year. He decided over breakfast that "He was not in love with me" He wants to set me free to find the man who will worship me. He also stated that all he wants is to be in love. Nice to hear that from the one person whom you thought did?? After two weeks of crying, begging pleading and doing everything under the sun to keep my husband. I set him free. I read the book and started my 180. I can recognize that I wasn't making my marriage #1, I am truly sorry that I got caught up in the day to day stuff. But I only needed a little reminder. He never talked to me about it. He figured it out all by himself and by that time he finally talked to me it was too late to go back. What a fool... Okay back to my story. Once I stopped and listened to his reasons I found truth in some of them. I immediately started doing the things that he loved and got the "it's too late now response" I didn't care, I was doing these things because they bring me joy. So we are one week from him moving out. I am keeping the house because it was my dream and I will de damned if he takes another dream away from me. When he first dropped the bomb, he started coming home very very late and wasn't even talking to me. He claimed that when he walked into the house he could feel my pain. We still slept in the same bed until (Week ago) one night I waited up for him and wanted to have the relationship talk. Big mistake, that next morning he moved into the spare bedroom. I started 180 and feel better. He still wants to be close to me, holds me, I rub his back and we are not discussing anything. I feel we are still connected but I am not going to fool myself into thinking that it's going to be ok. I want him to move out and "find" himself. He swears that there is no other woman, but his actions and a friend saw him with a very friendly blonde two nights ago. I am going to believe him and leave the "affair" behind me. Right now I need to focus on my smile!!! I still trust this man and I hope that someday he realizes what and who he truly wants. I will be showing him what he had and lost (for the time being). Now, I need help and a plan for the separation of assets. We are to get together tomorrow and start. How do I do it and stay on track? Then on moving day... do I hang around and support him or run like hell?
