Like a ton of bricks.

[Lost_for_now]

Thank you for your reply. I'm glad that someone else sees the issue of a potential OM like I do. It would just explain so many things to me. I have told her on many occasions that if she truly wants out of the marriage that all she would have to do is simply admit to the affair and that would be it! I would absolutely give her what she apparently wants, which is a divorce. She still denies.

Also agree that I need to make myself better for ME. People want to be around happy, confident people. It is, of course, difficult to do. Baby steps, I suppose.

As to what I think caused all of it, I think that it was the distance that grew between us following marriage as a result of my taking our relationship for granted. Over the course of a few months we grew more like roommates than husband and wife. She took a look at that and decided that wasn't how she wanted to live her life. Around that same time she started working late into the night a lot. I look back at those times and wonder if she was having an EA at that time that grew into a PA.