URGENT! OW had an abortion, H miserable

[Ophelia]

I certainly wouldn't beat yourself up over suspecting that she may just be making the whole thing up. If things were cooling off between them, she might have just pulled this stunt to suck him back in.

I don't think that suggesting that possibility to your H would do much good though. It would probably only serve to make him leap to her defense, and you'd be the bad guy, and you don't want him seeing you in that light. At the same time though, if it is all a sham, then that means he's beating himself up over nothing, so he could actually benefit from having that option to consider.

I think all you can do is just support him as best you can. Keep reinforcing the fact that OW is the one who made the decision, so he shouldn't be blaming himself. I wonder if he even actually really told her she should get an abortion. Somehow I suspect it may have actually gone something along the lines of:
OW: We have to consider all the options. Maybe I should just have an abortion...
H: *said in a non-committal tone* Yeah, maybe.

Either way, I think the best you can do is to make sure he knows that you don't think less of him and that you support him. If he feels that coming from you, it may make it easier for him to forgive himself.