Last night, I was too close to getting up in the middle of the night and looking at her cell phone. I don't know what I was expecting to find, but my heart was pounding at the thought of looking at her call history, and text messages. I woke her up and told her what I was worried about instead. We talked from midnight until 2:00 am. She got mad at me for a while, and siad the fact that I don't trust her made her feel bad, but she calmed down at the end. In short, she said she would not show me her cell phone and that if I don't trust her, that is too bad. She said again, that she is not having any kind of affair, neither emotional or physical. Now I am perplexed. What could she possibly be worried about me seeing, if it is not text or history from a affair? Could it be just a control thing, because I have been in control of most things our entire marriage, and this is one thing she has taken back? We are together all of the time. We have fun, we enjoy each others company. What am I afraid of? What else could it be? Should I just decide to blindly trust, and just accept whatever happens? That is where I think I should go.
