Great to hear from you. I'm glad you've found tear's of joy and I'm a bit jealous! I'm still rolling with things, taking it one day at a time. Still hopeful, still faithful, still alive. I'll know where I ended up once I get there. Until then, I'm moving with the flow.
God Bless,
COG
Ali,
Hopefully that little note from SuitedUp is all the reinforcement you need to hear.
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
I am oftentimes humbled by your humility and capacity to love so it well within your potential and capability to experience and to give of yourself in the most intimate of human moments.
The fact that you have it and that it burns inside of you, is a guarantee that your will experience again. Actually, over and over again.
Stay focused on your goal and pray to God with your mighty and loving heart.
God Bless,
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
Dang it, COG, that description ROCKS, and I am one of the minority women who wants sex 24/7, M to an H who withheld, and still does post-A. A special level of painful rejection, yes? And you nailed it. Especially, to me, about how it should be like brushing your teeth. NOT tied in to your emotional temper tantrums, so to speak.
The lack of, feeds on lack of. The sharing of, would feed on the sharing of. Oh, to jump from the bad cycle to the good one...
Could I have your permission to share that? I would LOVE to use your description in my blog (http://instepford.blogspot.com) credited to an "anonymous wise man", of course. You'd be in good company (GH, TL, AmyC) are all quoted there too.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
COg YOU are the man I hope to grow up to be except with the sex part. You described my feelings the ones I felt for years. It is diferent now but i went through all of that before,it was one of the reasons I left.As you know my marriage is back on track again and this is not a problem anymore. It made me feel so ugly and unloved. Yes i had a good friend had EA but could not bring myself to have sex with anyone but my wife,but it was a thought that went through my mind constantly. i just wanted her to love me and nobody else.Now she gets it and goes out of her way to make us both happy in and out of the bedroom and i have read all I can about what women feel and how they view sex.
It's a terrible shame that I'm not the only one who feels those feelings. Makes me a little sad to know there are probably a lot of people in this world feeling the same kind of rejection, from one form or another. We can't understand why our S's are witholding until we walk in their shoes, and I don't know how to do that. So we just have to accept our fate, and make our own decisions.
Sure you can use my words in your Blog. You can even use my handle, "COG" if you want to. I share my heart freely here.
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
I'm so glad you've worked things out, and that your W understands how important sex really is. I'm praying the same for my W, but I must admit, my prayer confidence is not very high right now. She just seems like a triple thick brick wall. Even though I have'nt pursued her in months, there's nothing. It was almost better when I was pursuing, at least from my standpoint, but probably not hers.
Take good care of your woman, especially when you love her. It's great to hear a success story like yours.
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
Ah, COG, just wander over to the Sex Starved Marriage forum and you will find kindred spirits abounding, sadly. It breaks my heart and simultaneously comforts me.
But we have the added bonus as having a WAS in addition to the SSM, and my H had an A (of all the jacked-up INSULTS to me as a sex-rejected woman! ack!). Healing seems very difficult, if not downright impossible here. I still don't know if we're going to keep piecing in general; there are serious problems here and I don't know that H is willing to try anymore.
BUT.
All that to say: GOD is the GOD who RAISED THE DEAD, for Pete's sake. Surely we can trust Him to work it out as He sees fit. Hard, that. But He can do it.
Thanks for all your insight on the boards; I wish none of us needed to be here!
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
COG, Yes Suits post helped me tremendously and all the others who have responded to your honesty in answering my question. I feel blessed, thank you again sooooooo much for your honesty. It has truly made a huge impact on me,, just even in our phone conversations I have lightened up soooo much ( I can just feel it) with my H and I am hoping this time I can really touch his heart and over time help heal the pain I have caused from not giving him what he needed,,, FEAR took over and it just devoured me. God bless you again sweetie you are one incredible human being. God bless...Ali
How true COG - there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to make that better right now. He has expressed to me that he would like to ML but can't seem to wrap his mind around the idea (how sad) but I am hoping that one day we will be able to put that part of the puzzle back into the R too. Of course, I am skeptical after all this time but I can always hope and dream right?
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
