I feel for you. I am in the same situation only my H still does not come right out and admit the OW, but i have plenty of proof. Lots of prayers have helped me w/ strength,patience and w/ changing my entire attutde about things which has caused a domino effect on my H' anger and attitude.
Patience, patience and time is the key! You will others tell you to not talk R and act "as if". I don't know what all books you have read but heear are a few that have helped me, The care & feeding of a husband, the power of the praying wife and the five languages of love. You need to tuen into what his complains are about you so you can turn it around and start doing the opposite. You need to win him back slowly by fullfilling his needs that probably the OW is fulfilling. Let him see the changes. My H compalined about our constan arguing..well now w/ the peace of God i let his angry outbursts slide right off me and we no longer fight like before and he is happy w/ the changes!
