I'm with Heyewyre - let it go. Rumors are rumors and rarely based in fact. Cheeseless tunnel. You've had a rough couple days already - don't spend any time there.
Hey, just some ramblings I had after reading your post about your H's wishes. And to me this so nicely fits into some Mars/Venus thinking. It is important to note that us men seek validation - or significance. Many of the things there spoke of this - for your H to feel loved, he must feel that he is significant and contributing to YOUR happiness. In what ways can you connect with him (using unconditional love) such that he feels important.
So the next point, Mars/Venus would also say something to the effect that women seek connections. Hard to connect perhaps to someone you FEAR will leave you or that it won't be enough. When we let fear rule, we lose the ability to love unconditionally and we close the connection. I suspect your H might be sensing the same. When we love unconditionally, we shrug off fear and accept others as their imperfect selfs - and are able to make and maintain connections.
I know for me, what led to the bomb was that I was seeking validation in all the wrong ways - I was a workaholic - choosing that over my family. I though having the nice house and best cars, etc. would "get" my family to love me. When, in the end, they just wanted to know I cared about them. As I have been through this journey, I have centered my focus around gaining validation from how I have held this family together. And the more that I lead, the more my W follows - and validates for me that I am the man she wants and needs me to be. And I do it with no expectation from her - unconditional love shown day in and day out - so that she feels the connection she needs and I get the validation I need.
Its not perfect all the time, don't be confused - but it does get better and better every day.
If you are into reading and trying to figure where you H's head is at, read For Women Only by Feldhahn. It is a quick read and it might help you get into your H's head a bit - which might in turn ease your mind that you can in fact give him what he is looking for. AND, at the same time, stay focused on yourself - your GAL'g for your sake - you're self discovery for YOUR sake.
Hang in there...
Sven
Last edited by SvenTheRed; 02/09/0704:13 AM.
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
