Well, first I will say that I'm sorry that another person has come to join our ranks here. However, this motley crue of individuals is a priceless resource for you while you learn to navigate your way through this journey that your husband has chosen for the two of you.
Can we assume that if you are familiar with DB'ing that you have read DB or DR? If not you should.
If your husband is beginning a mid-life crisis, there are two very important things for you to know right away:
1. The spouse left behind (LBS) is typically not invited on this mid-life crisis (MLC) trip that your husband is embarking on. Don't try to join him, don't try to help him through it, and don't try to figure things out for him.
2. The very best thing you can do for you and your daughter RIGHT NOW and for the forseeable future is to devote your time and energies to the two of you. Stay healthy, eat right, sleep well, spend time together. Try to distance yourself as much as possible from the drama your husband is likely to bring into his life.
You will hear people talk to you about getting a life. They will encourage you to pursue things for yourself or for you and your daughter. You will resist this at first, thinking that surely you MUST do something to reach out to your husband, to assure you that you love him and want him to stay. Please, please listen to the advice you will get here. It will serve you and your daughter, as well as ultimately your marriage, well.
READ. Familiarize yourself with just what is going on with your husband. There is some wonderful information in the thread at the top of this page concerning MLC. Actually there is enough there to keep you mentally occupied for some time. Knowledge is survival around here.
The people you will meet here are wonderful people who have experienced things very similar to what you will be going through. None of our stories are exactly the same, but there are enough similarities that we wind up being able to offer much in the way of support and encouragement.
Sorry you're hear HMom. If your husband is really beginning an MLC, I'm sorry to say that you have potentially a long and rough road in front of you. Your faith will be tested, as will your committment to your husband and marriage. His actions and decisions will stun you at times. That's why it is important for you to leave him be as much as possible. Listen to him when he talks to you, but try to resist the temptation to hash out things with him.
Stick around, read, and listen. We're sorry you're hear, but we're more than willing to welcome and help as much as possible.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
